Many brides, grooms, families and friends experience sleepless nights over this important occasion. Being a key star in a wedding can cause 2 types of stress before you’re free to fully enjoy the day!
Firstly, it’s rare that anyone organising such a major celebration is actually a professional event planner! And the time it takes to organise a wedding can cause slow burning, long-term stress.
Worrying about financial costs and family pressures, as well as researching, negotiating and booking multiple aspects and tasks involved can cause chronic anxiety before the wonderful day arrives!
Secondly, once the design and creation of the memorable day has been achieved, then the focus of concern is often internalised.
Short term acute stress can be caused by worrying excessively, prior to the wedding about appearance, confidence, last minute challenges, fear of forgetting something, fear of giving a speech and wanting every last detail to be perfect.
Your preferred stress management may involve alcohol, which could be highly embarrassing! Save the Champaign for toasts when everything’s done except the dancing!
Instead try these ‘secret’ remedies to keep relaxed.
Body: Hold finger to thumb on each hand, with tongue touching roof of mouth, relax jaw. Close eyes for 30 secs, let wrists and shoulders drop.
Heart: Write a 1 min, free-flow account of current feelings. Watch a funny movie then read account and amend.
Mind: Plan social life, in 10 mins arrange with 2 different friends, to meet up or offer a helping hand.
You deserve a happy wedding day!
There was a time not so long ago, when it was normal for women to give up work when they got married. It sounds crazy now, doesn’t it? Then, slowly, things began to change and women carried on working, only giving up, or those who could afford to, when starting a family.
And now, as traditional roles turn full circle due to the everyday pressures of modern life, it’s perfectly acceptable to find men taking on the role of homemaker and child care professional.
Being a full time parent is a dedicated occupation often taken for granted and many parents elect to keep their job and place their baby in day care. There’s validity in both routes; its a very personal choice
Choosing a working life and day care is not without a major wrenching of the heart of course.
The baby is so precious and to hand him/her over to strangers is one of the hardest experiences a new parent will ever face. Parents often say; “My baby seems so fragile, and what if he/she misses me? Or worse, what if they don’t?”
For new mums, already dealing with physical changes, one of the stresses caused is by other people’s expectations, who are not shy when it comes to sharing their opinions. Working parents can be torn in two by the ‘stay at home’ mums and childcare “experts” criticising a woman’s decision to go to work, or alternatively, they can be despised by working women (and the other childcare “experts”) for dedicating their life to their partner and family.
And it isn’t always a clear cut choice: Some working mothers would love to stay home with their children but have to work due to the family’s financial circumstances. Where every penny is critical, working ‘9 to 5’ and paying for childcare may not be viable. Working evenings and weekends are the answer, but for those without a partner, friends or family close by to babysit, even this option is fraught with problems.
Part time mums might appear to have the best of both worlds but do they? Getting the baby to nursery, with all the paraphernalia it entails, or older children to school, from where you then dash to your office, work, then dash back for the pick up and go on to after school clubs, finally heading home for dinner is a logistical feat worthy of a medal.
ome part time mums may not even have had lunch and will literally be on the go from 7am to 7pm without a break even though they’re only at work from 9am to 3pm. It doesn’t make for the healthiest of lifestyles.
From her quiet, peaceful office Victoria Sheridan helps her clients to find inner calm and gives them the strength to make that decision or indeed, to cope with the choice they had to make. She suggests, "It’s a tough time. Even if it’s not the first child, having a baby, a toddler and a child at school layers on the physical and mental stresses. And you have to stay strong because you don’t want to pass your anxieties onto your child.
You might have trouble sleeping, lose your appetite or find it hard to concentrate but it’s important for baby that you find a way through those times. I love helping parents discover the best coping methods so they can avoid the pain of total burnout.”
Victoria says she likes to “help parents who feel painfully overloaded, practice quick and rise above the exhaustion. With over 18 years’ experience in life coaching and mentoring, helping families deal with stresses in their lives, Victoria is well placed to help new parents feel comfortable ‘letting go’ and she loves helping them to make the best choice for them and their family.
Do you know that among solicitors, the first working Monday in January has become commonly known as ‘Divorce Day’, because more divorce proceedings are initiated on that day than at any other time of the year!
Sadly, the winter festivities are a major turning point for many couples, when the pressures of being together, can develop into a crisis that causes arguments and unhappiness. Being thrown together for an extended time over the festivities, when a relationship is already going through a ‘bad patch’, is always going to be stressful on everyone in the family.
A couple experiencing relationship problems can be oversensitive and find the slightest issue extremely irritating. Consequently, whereas most families quarrel amicably and it all ‘blows over’, a troubled couple find family events highlight their deeper misgivings and it all ‘blows up’.
What was expected to be a warm family time suddenly comes to a shocking end which can even be quite public, in front of friends and family. Other extended family members and especially children, are very often involved but feel powerless and unable to cope too well with the break-up either. So how do we find our way through the transition of such devastating changes?
Taking time out to stop the flow of events, finding a peaceful spot and thinking clearly is not easily achieved. It can be difficult not to simply react to situations and can be a struggle to maintain a positive approach. However, our weakened mental and emotional responses can very often lead us to make poor judgements and bad decisions can result in undesired outcomes.
Everyone agrees that it’s important to choose the most favourable decisions and dissolve the confusion, but that can be easier said than done when life has been turned upside down.
Victoria Sheridan, an expert in managing stress, has spent over 18 years helping people who are experiencing anxiety, to cope with the debilitating effects of overwhelm during a relationship breakdown. “Being thrown together over the festivities, is hugely upsetting if what you expect to be a happy time, becomes a bitter disappointment.
Victoria says, “A desperate situation can make you want to run away, fight and argue, or it can put you in a limbo, confused, angry and sad, not knowing what to do for the best. You may experience sleeplessness, lack of appetite and loss of concentration. Just a few sessions of coaching can equip you to manage stress differently.”
Victoria is also mindful that many of us prefer discretion. “Not everyone wants to spread their feelings on social media. In particular, professional people and celebrities, whose livelihood depends on a positive public persona, prefer subtler ways of coping.
She says, “The Secret Calm™ stress relieving techniques are a rich blend of ancient and modern methods, drawn from many cultures from around the world. Combined with modern scientific knowledge of neurology, the way the brain performs in response to stress triggers and how it can be induced to produce mood enhancing chemicals are key to managing anxiety.
This individual or small group coaching is designed especially for you that fits naturally with your lifestyle and can help you make clearer decisions about your future from a position of calm inner strength."